The main signs that you struggle with avoidant attachment style are the following:
High self-esteem and hyper independent
Avoid strong displays of closeness and intimacy
Shallow relationships
Generally, you want to love and be loved. But on the other hand, you have a strong fear that the people who are closest to you will hurt you.
In the context of finances, these are some ways in how our disorganized may show up in our behaviours with money. Reflect on the list below and take note of the behaviours that you relate to (you may not identify with all of them)
Financial Independence
You may strongly prioritize financial independence. You tend to focus on tangible achievements and financial success rather than emotional well-being or relationship satisfaction. This can lead to prioritizing career success or material possessions over relational aspects
Limited Emotional Expression about Money
You may find it challenging to express your emotions, including those related to money. You might avoid discussions about financial concerns or downplay the emotional aspects of financial decisions.
Reluctance to Share Financial Information / Financial Infidelity
You may be hesitant to share detailed financial information with others, even close partners. This could include reluctance to disclose income, debts, or financial goals. You may also be inclined to lie about your financial situation.
Preference for Self-Reliance
There may be a strong inclination toward self-reliance in managing financial matters. This could involve avoiding seeking advice or assistance, even when facing complex financial decisions. This leads to a preference for maintaining control over financial decisions.
Emotional Detachment from Financial Decisions
You may detach emotionally from financial decisions to minimize vulnerability. This can result in making decisions based purely on logic or practicality while neglecting emotional considerations.
Avoidance of Financial Conflict
A strong aversion to financial conflict or disagreements. You may go to great lengths to avoid financial discussions that could lead to conflict, potentially hindering open communication.
Tips to heal your avoidant attachment to money
Once you are aware of your avoidant attachment style, the only way to heal it is by changing the belief system you currently hold about yourself and about other people. This means you become aware on how your fear of intimacy and emotional vulnerability is holding you back from experiencing a deeply fulfilling life.